If I Loved Him…

If I loved him, I did so with the hope of who he would be.

With the clear image of a man who stands with women rather than over them.

If I was blind, it was only to that which I hoped he saw first.

The generational masogyny he would surely eradicate rather than imitate.

If I was breakable, it was only because I thought him capable of balancing that which requires care.

And if I missed him…

If I missed him, it would be the loss of myself I would truly grieve.

The naive girl who believed herself worthy of a healed love.

Who could not imagine that the words “I love you” would, in action, look more like “I own you.”